the uncertainity within;

I'm a emo-ing, mixed feelings kid now.
Sometimes I so love my life.
I'm well on the way to what I define as perfect life.
The life I have now, I will grade it 7/10.
Cuz my determination for some stuff is not there yet, I haven got the wonderful person beside me and there's always room for improvement =)
It will be nice to achieve the 9/10 in my heart (1 mark is for improvement)
I have a laopo who loves me as much as I love her.
Friends (though not alot), but I know there are around me and I can count on them if anything happens.
Ex-gfs who I still think that they are my gfs (we "broke up" cuz too long nv contact).
One is on the way of gaining back (hear that xm?!) and the other one is far too busy (me & her) for us to patch back (joyceeeeee! On leave! my dear =P)
And there will always be random ppl here and there.
Being the workaholic I am, I'm quite happy with all the jobs and money which are coming in (though it could be higher, I'm not going to complain =D)
Reading being my love, I'm getting more of it (in fact, though not enough time, but I at least have some time for it)
Trips which I think could well be on the way of fulfilling

And sometimes I hate my life.
I don't get to have the fun/partying/high life that I want
Being the active me, my life is a tad too boring for me.
I wanna do crazy and wild stuff, but I have no one who can accompany me to do so.
I'm getting fat like nobody's business (well, it is nobody's business & don't say I'm not, I know myself better than you do)
My face is nowhere near the recovering/getting better condition.
Time and money always seems not enough.
The close-knit relationship between my sis and I is gone.
Heck, we don't even really talk these days (read: talk = exchanging words & statements), needless to say about communicating
I don't understand what's going on in her life (which seems to me, there's ALOT going on)
Friends who I used to be close to, and I wanna re-connect I can't seem to do so.
I think I'm a lousy communicator, can hold a decent conversation with ppl beside those that I often chat with.
And my nose is currently operating like a running tap.

*Actually half way through why I like my life, I have already forgotten what I had intially wanted to write for this entry. So don't mind me, I'm just a confused and (I think) in need of sleep kid*

p.s: I can't wait to do crazy shopping in Taiwan (I hope I'm really going)
p.p.s: I pray & hope for positive results for my uni entry
p.p.p.s: I have already plan quite ahead with what I want to do with my life
p.p.p.p.s: I have recently fall in love with writing p.s-es
p.p.p.p.p.s: End of my p.s-es, are you guys still reading?? =P

♥ metamorphosis;

doodle straight into my heart 10:04 PM

melissa =)
22nd sept

darlings
him <3
kate spade
burberry
purple & colours
dancing
heels
shopping
checks and podka dots

creepy crawlies

travel around the world
have my own fashion line
dancing lessons
shop till i drop
moolah to drop from the sky and straight into my wallet =D

charlene
cheng de
jason
liyi
kaiyi
zi ting
xinyi

designer- joy.deprived

images&brushes - deviantart

artists - FaerieNymph, kedralynn (deviantart)

brushes - exotika, sunira, cruiza, elizavet (deviantart)

fonts - dafont

software - Adobe Photoshop 7.0 & Macromedia Dreamweaver 8.0

*please keep the credits as they are =) thankyou.